Healers, Dealers, Spiritual Weavers and The U Word

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A massive surge of “healing” began a few weeks ago—I think—when I received a Hawaiian “tiki” idol handcrafted by a wonderfully talented local soul named Kawika. (Think opposite The Brady Bunch in Hawaii.)

Well, truth be told, the healing began long before that—somewhere around my 2014 fall from Corporate Grace beautifully wrapped in a Blessing in Disguise; or … my unlikely sojourn back to the midwest to finish a memoir about my Polish family; or … the Email That Came Out Of Nowhere, luring me to Maui to oversee baby olive trees and, so much more apparently.

(Tilling the soils of the heart and mind—not for sissies, let me tell you.)

Well, there I was minding my own business—meditating and chanting and walking labyrinths like a spunky “spiritual” enthusiast, searching for Truth (here, there, wherever)—when a well-known local man/new friend suggested I consider purchasing a handmade Hawaiian idol made by his cousin—Kawika.

We met on the patio of Starbucks in Kihei and there, in the thick of a sensual 91 degrees, Kawika showed me several of his creations, each one made from the spine of a sea urchin. I was certain the sea urchin didn’t mind and if it did, well, it should have had more “spine” to resist. Regardless, as I sat there caressing these idols, I marveled at the detail that had gone into them.

There were a few idols to chose from but for me, two stood out: Lono, the God of Peace and Fertility and Káne, the God of Water and Life. Decisions, decisions. Fertility and peace felt appropriate, but as Kawika explained more about Káne, I felt more drawn to the story behind the name.

In Hawaiian mythology, Káne is considered to be the highest of the four major Hawaiian deities—Kanaloa (God of the Underworld), Kú (God of War) and Lono round out the bunch. Káne, representing the God of procreation, was worshipped as ancestors of chiefs and commoners. In essence, Káne is the creator and gives life associated with dawn, sun and sky. The good news? No human sacrifice was needed in worshipping of Káne.

The God of Life.

As I sat there ruminating on the idol and, to some extent, the latest course of events in my life, a few thoughts arose. The big one: How was it that The Universe managed to lure me onto an island—one of a few in a nice little chain—that happens to be one of the most remote islands on the planet, and the furthest away from any major land mass? And how was it that I was now being asked to trust that everything would indeed work out, regardless of income, finances, blah blah blah?

Of course, I had no real answer for those questions—more like immense gratitude for the former and a sense of humor for the latter. After all, after the newspaper at which I had editor for many years was sold in 2014, a whirlwind adventure began. An adventure away from “lack” actually.

Other questions arose, like … What would it be like to be on this island for an entire year? What possibilities could be created if I were to simply stay—ship the car over from California and everything. To, well, trust, that something unique would unfold all the while braving some of the whispers from the Mind, some of which, I sensed, I had no business minding any more—the parts that kept suggesting I head back to The Mainland and re-enter the swirl that is corporate media in 2015. Or, as I like to call it: Opinion Journalism with A Large Side Celebrity Fascination With No Real Pay.

To quote my new friend on the island, the self-proclaimed Martha Stewart of Maui, “I’d rather gargle with wasps!” (More about him in the next blog post.)

Still. Could there be something of value of being closer to family in Chicago?

Life. Yes. I needed an IV-drip of that. I needed to feel bathed in a kind of renewal that could only come from something that was not from the same pool in which I had been swimming for so long. I required some kind of awakening and RE-something to assist me in arriving to my next destination.

I choose the Káne idol and began wearing the idol immediately.

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Meanwhile back in the Kula olive field, things blossomed. The grass surrounding the baby olive trees was in serious need on manscaping and I was sans a lawn mower and weed whacker. Nor would I even know how to use them—much. After all, one day, I took a mallet and pounded a post back into the ground—like real good—but I was still craving good catering afterward and there was nary a chef in sight, so…

In any case, a professional landscaper would have to take care of the matter. Phone calls were made. Meantime, like a wannabe Zen master, I maintained my daily ritual: rising early every morning and driving the Polaris out into the field to make sure the young olive trees were all fine; to see that no deer had done something to these creatures; to make certain that the trees’  branches were still tied to posts to prevent the wind from having its way with them. In the evenings, I was back in the field, turning on a few lamps and wishing the trees well—a good night sleep I suppose. At some point during these excursions, I decided to bring my iPhone with me and let the music play … as it were. I mean—really, life feels so much better when its accompanied by a soundtrack. Oh, what fun we all had—the trees and I—listening to the theme from Tootsie or St. Elmo’s FireOne day, as my biorhythms turned adventurous, I unleashed Pitbull’s Wild Wild Love followed by Madonna’s Rebel Heart.

I thought all of us—the trees and I, of course—could relate to the rebel part. More or less.

Dear Lord. How had I gone From Celebrity Interviewer to The Olive Tree Whisperer? (I smell a movie deal …)

The point is this: It felt as if life, once so confusing and exhausting—writing about Stalin’s handiwork must have something to do with it—was beginning to emerge …

… in a new way.

And then, somewhere between noticing I had not had a mood swing in nearly two months, my brain must have noticed me noticing and one occurred. Fear, like fools, rushed in.

“Move to Maui? Ridiculous!”

“Ouch! This is gonna hurt? How? What will you do? You know—for money?”

“Dearest Greg, do you realize very few people purchase memoirs these days? Are you certain you still want to be an author on the verge of a nervous breakdown?”

To which I replied: “Yeah, I’m sure. But I want to try it without the nervous breakdown this time.”

My modest internal upheaval led me to the offices of a chiropractor who henceforth will be referred to as Dr. Woo-Woo. Well, there really is no other term for him. I had gone in to see him upon the recommendation of a new friend who insisted he could “alter DNA.”  I absolutely loved the sound of that. After all, over the last few years, I had been researching epigenetics for the book about my Polish family and, in many ways, I had been experiencing, first-hand, how unresolved family trauma can be passed down from one generation to the next, especially trauma from survivors of World War II.

I was into anything healthy that would boost my spiritual metabolism.

So, there I was sitting across from Dr. Woo Woo, sharing some of my “story” when I thought he would perhaps adjust my spine. You know, open me up. Tall and thin, his white buttoned shirt and dark pants hung loosely off of his body. After listening to me suggest that I may still be going through something epigenetic-related and that I hoped I did not sound too out there, the man nudged his eyeglasses up his nose and nodded.

“I understand.”

Oh my—he used the U word. I wanted to reach out and hug him.

He instructed me to hold out my right arm and make a fist. He proceeded to tap his fingers across my wrist and with his eyes rolling back, he appeared to interpreting some code from the ethers. He nodded several times, asked the air how many generations this and that went back and how that and this could all be related to this and that and yes, that! He proceeded to nod more. He sighed. A lot. His fingers tapped away.

I sat there watching him—positively stunned—while my Polish mother’s concerned face flashed before my eyes.

Meanwhile, the darkly comedic writer within gushed at the possibility that I had just been fed marvelous material, but … that savage beast calmed down and after a few minutes, somewhere, deep within me, I found myself more curious than amused, and then … much more relaxed and intrigued. I had absolutely no idea what Dr. Woo Woo was doing but from the deepest pit of my tummy, I knew that something was being done—that the man was, in some way, aligned to some sort of energy field—or something—and that he was interpreting something beyond the physical realm.

If invisible images and sounds can make their way into a small phone, then what is so absurd about a man who is a similar conduit—but in a different way? Good God—the man was a human iPhone.

The session lasted for nearly an hour.

About a week later, after Dr. Woo Woo GMO-d my DNA—in a good way—and, how did he put it?—clear “four generations of psychic poisons …”

[You must realize that even I realize how this sounds … but I swear on the bundt cakes I have not yet eaten from The Martha Stewart of Maui that something just north of a religious experience occurred in that room with The Woo Woo of Maui-ville.]

Alas, why bother explaining it all. And who knows if such things would happen to every one should they unplug from the Matrix that is corporate America and, to some degree, The Mainland, however it is/has been occurring to me. So …

Where was I?

Ah, yes … after being cleared of four generations of psychic poisons, I accepted and invitation to attend the birthday bash for Martha Stewart Maui.

Insert cliffhanger here.

More about all that soon. In the meantime, I am off to take a nap. All of this “healing” is “work.”

Namaste.

Aloha ….

Or, to coin a phrase from a popular film … roll, baby, roll …

 

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